I Wrote a Book to Myself

The following article is an examination of writing that book.

I get it. Your gut reaction is “Did he, though?”

The answer is yes, but here's the thing; It doesn't even matter. Let me explain.

The book I wrote to myself was seldom complicated, but it hit hard. Sometimes it spoke to me with a kind voice, other times it was angry for reasons outside my control. It's an honest book. It never lies to me (because that would just be silly). Sometimes it's the book I want to read, other times it's a harsh voice to myself I need to hear. There are times I struggle to pick the book up, and still others I struggle to put it down.

It is a bizarre book, to be sure, but it is not one meant for the masses. It was written for an audience of one.

Regardless of whichever side any part of the book takes, at least it's a consistently funny book. Even if I have an overinflated sense of my own jokes, it works every time. I always get the joke.

It's a good book, I like it. That may seem obvious, but considering I'm my harshest critic, it's almost surprising I enjoy the book as much as I do. Something about it brings me back, time and again. I began writing it when I was at a very low point, and ended the book when I was considerably better in all aspects. In that sense, its an uplifting tale, and it stands as a stark reminder of not only how far I've come, but also how far I can fall. Reading it, like writing it, is consistently difficult to begin, but unbelievably satisfying to complete.

I say all this to recommend that you should write a book to yourself.

You can start anywhere. Begin by following a methodology like I've outlined. Or don't. There's no wrong way to do it, besides not doing it. It can be long, it can be short, good or bad. What matters is that it is time consuming, thoughtful self-therapy that, while sometimes strenuous, above all is a satisfying & gratifying venture upon both completion and introspection.

Don't wait like I did to start writing at your lowest point. The best time to begin was yesterday, and the second best time is today. Now, even. If I've been convincing enough thus far, I implore you to stop reading and start writing. At least put it on your schedule for later. I suspect however, that I have not yet convinced most readers, so let us examine the idea further.

The most obvious question is “Why bother?” I would argue that in this world of streaming self indulgent entertainment, wouldn't a media experience curated completely for you hold appeal? Some might say writing a book to yourself is the equivalent of keeping a journal. While similar, and it may very well be a jumping off point for some, writing a book to yourself requires that you give it a definitive beginning & end, as well as being designed from the start to be reexamined, re-edited, and re-read as a reminder to yourself of the lessons you need to hear the most, from a voice you had better trust.

I'm not special for writing a book to myself, I'm sure countless others have. The most obvious example in history is Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. I am in no way equating the content of my book to be as impactful as his, only to say that it was written for an audience of one to be reminders, in the same way you may leave yourself post-it notes around the house.

I would argue that a fair amount of people have likely already began a bulk of the work, either in journals or in the form of notes you leave to yourself. I merely believe the compilation of those ideas in an analyzed and thoughtful fashion is able to most efficiently improve one's self via their own best ideas. I specifically say best ideas and not merely good ideas, because the thoughtful creation of the book as a whole separates the wheat from the chaff and your best thoughts generally rise to the surface.

There's something about writing a book only to yourself that kills your ego. As you write it you may even struggle with unexpectedly writing portions suitable for public consumption. If they're inherently good ideas this is fine in small doses, because ending the book invariably requires that you know that you are keeping the vast bulk of this to yourself. It isn't for other people, it isn't for sharing. The book should be sacred knowledge to you. Due to this, its likely a large percentage of the writings wouldn't even make sense to most, if any, people. Like a good inside joke with your friends, the jest isn't made for the sake of anyone but the small group who would understand and find it funny. Similarly, the book you write to yourself will have this quality in spades.

This “in-joke” quality of your book must be addressed. If you focus too much on this feature, it becomes a crutch. Sometimes you only need to write a word or two to have a flood of the same ideas every time you read them. It is critical that you analytically decide which of these ideas require inscription into your personal tome, and which can be left to the wayside.

If I continue these thoughts to you any further, I run the risk of occupying time you might better utilize in beginning your writing process. So I implore you, go forth and write a book to yourself. You may be surprised what lessons you can teach yourself with a simple little bit of reflection.